Monday, July 7, 2008

the numbers represent your REGISTER NUMBERS.



YAY. SUCCESS!
so now i need to ZOOM it.
uh huh.
so issit big enough yett?

okay, so now i am trying again.
i think i found a way.
print screen then save it as a picture, then attatch.
yeah...
but. apparently, its not working very well. is it working????

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

more dumb jokes

Why I don't have my homework

I lost it fighting this kid you said you weren't the best teacher in the school

I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

Our puppy toilet trained on it

Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

I put it in a safe, but lost the combination

I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing

I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload

My little sister ate it

A sudden gust of wind blew it out of my hand and I never saw it again

I was kidnapped by terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it

The lights in our house went out, and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box

Another pupil fell in a lake, and I jumped in to rescue him. My homework though drowned.

I used it to fill a hole in my shoe, you wouldn't want it now

My father had a nervous breakdown and he cut it up to make paper dolls

My pet gerbils had babies, and they used it to make a nest

I didn't do it, because I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad

I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked

ET stopped by my house and he accidentally took it home with him

okay the blog is revived

OMG THIS JOKE IS SO FUNNY.
but it's long.
MUST READ EVERYTHING AR!

Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
Agnes

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

Agnes

December 22, 2003

Hey loser,

What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker